Epiphany
by CircleofEternalFlames
Summary: A short spuffy twoshot, kinda angsty but it all turns out good it the end. Rated teen for language. BtVS characters do not belong to me, I'm just playing with them.
1. Chapter 1

Epiphany

Buffy was curled up in her bed holding the now tear stained shirt Spike had left behind earlier. She sniffled and drew it closer to her. He had come home with her after patrol and things had gotten a bit...personal. They had ended up in her bed and Buffy swore she was still reeling in the aftershocks. But afterward something in her had snapped and called him everything she could think of.

He had pulled his pants and boots on, grabbed his duster and stormed off. Buffy had immediately regretted what she had done and had wanted to go straight after him. But the shock of what she had said and everything else that had happened that night had caused her to collapse on her bed and cry, having only enough energy to reach down and grab the black shirt she now clutched like a life line.

As she laid there and thought she had realized why she had snapped. It had been Spike's gentle and tender actions toward her that had made her go off like that. She was use to fucking, oh how she was use to fucking. But last night had been different. He had pinned her hands above her and had worshipped her body. Buffy shivered as she recalled the paths of cold fire Spike's mouth and hands had paved over her body.

Spike threatened everything she had been told. Vampires were supposed to be vicious, ruthless and evil through and through Not that Spike couldn't be vicious and ruthless when he wanted to be, but the rest of the time he was a walking paradox! He could be angry one minute and protecting Dawn the next. And he was always passionate. A passionate fighter, a passionate arguer and a passonate lover.

Lover.

_Love._

He loved her no matter how much she denied it he loved her and if Buffy would get out of a certain river she loved him too. That was her problem. She could say it was because he was soulless and that he had tried to kill her. But the real reason she wouldn't let him in was simple. Every man in her life had left her. Her father, Angel, Parker, and Riley. They had all left. And Buffy knew that if someone she really _loved_ - If Spike left- it would destroy her. But. She told herself Spike hadn't left. Even when she wanted him to. She knew that Spike wouldn't leave her, hell he'd probably come back even if he dusted seeing that nobody stayed dead very long in Sunnydale.

Buffy made a mental list, the Pro's and Con's of loving and being with Spike

_**Pro's  
**Understands me better than my friends  
He's as good a fighter as I am  
He has my back  
He loves Dawn like a sister  
Dawn loves him too  
He has vampire stamina  
He loves me_

_**Con's  
**He's a vampire  
He's only restrained by a chip  
My friends don't like him  
I don't know what would happen if the chip stopped_

_Well_ she sighed _the pro's outweigh the con's. _Giles and Xander would be a problem. They both loathed Spike. Xander more than Giles but the hate was still strong. She knew Dawn and her mother would be ecstatic, they both adored Spike. Tara and Willow just wanted her to be happy.

Buffy frowned as she recalled Spike's parting words to her. _I love you Buffy, but even I have my limits._ "Oh god!" Buffy gasped what if she had pushed him to the edge? What if he did leave? No! She wouldn't let him! She would go to his crypt and beg for forgiveness, explain her little epiphany to him. He had asked for a crumb...well she had a whole friggin cookie!

So here she was. Justoutside the crypt that hopefully contained her enire reason to live. Taking a deep breath she pushed the heavy stone door open and saw him. He was sitting in the old armchair in front of his tv. A bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a stake in the other. Spike didn't look up when she walked in just sat there ans stared at a small duffel bag in front of him.

"I've been thinkin'" He spoke suddenly "Should I pack up and leave or just stake m'self now?" He gave a bitter laugh and looked up at Buffy. "So slayer ya here for another round of kick the Spike or fuck the Spike?"

She didn't answer just stared at him, horrified at what she had done.

"Well slayer? Gonna answer?"

"I had an epiphany...about you." Spike didn't say anything but she could see the curiosity in his eyes, along with pain, hurt and love. "I came here to apologize Spike, I treated you like shit and you didn't deserve any of it.

"That's all well and good slayer but-"

"No I'm not finished. You asked me once for a crumb and I've got the whole cookie. I am so fucking tired of everyone trying to run my life for me and its about time I did something I wanted not what someone else thinks I want."

"Buffy are you sayin' what I think you're sayin' 'cause if you ain't..." Spike trailed off unable to complete the sentence.

Buffy smiled at him and took a step closer "Spike...I love you."

She had barely spoken the words when she found herself pulled into Spike's strong embrace. "Say it again luv, I need to hear it." He sobbed into her hair.

"I love you Spike."

"Oh god...Buffy...love you so much!"

"shhhhh..." Buffy soothed, feeling her own tears fall down her cheeks. They sank to the floor holding each other and they cried, tears of joy and relief. One cried for the fact someone finally loved him and the other because she hadn't pushed him too far away.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since Buffy had gone to Spike's crypt to apologize. Buffy was happier than she had ever been. The scoobies still didn't know. But that had been a mutual decision between Spike and Buffy, who both wanted to let themselves get use to the changes before telling anyone who would put up an argument. Joyce and Dawn knew, it seemed that Buffy couldn't hide anything from her sister cause as soon as she had come home Dawn had noticed a difference in her and had said _You're finally dating Spike __aren't you._

Dawn had of course gone straight to their mother with the news and instead of being disappointed with Buffy for getting in another relationship with a vampire Joyce had surprised Buffy with _Well its about time! I always knew something was going on between you two._

Buffy sighed as she curled up into Spike's side, today was the day they told her friends. Today she could possibly either heal a rift between her friends and the chipped vampire of she could lose her closest friends because she wasn't giving Spike up for any reason. But first she had to get Spike into a scooby Meeting. She had called Giles on the new cell phone her mother had given her with the excuse _You will be spending alot of time in a crypt after all. _She had requested an emergency meeting at the Magic Box that evening.

She felt a slight twinge of guilt at lying to her watcher who was now probably worrying about a non existent Big Bad. But she shrugged it off , it was kinda a emergency and it was also the only way to get all the scoobies together. Now all she had to do was convince Spike to be there.

"Can't you just call `em and tell `em? Why do I even hafta be there?"

"Because we agreed to tell them together and this sorta makes you an official scooby anyway." She had pouted and watched smugly as he gave in. He never had been able to resist her when she pouted.

"Well" Spike sighed " I guess it'll be worth it if I get to see the whelp's face when you tell em" Then he hesitated, "What are you gonna do if they try to make you choose between me an' them?" Spike wouldn't say it but he was scared. Would she eventually give in to her friends demands and leave him?

"I'll be sad and angry if they do that cause I love them like family, but I will always choose you."

"Even over you're watcher, I know he's like a father to you."

"Oh you silly insecure vampire, I love you and that means I will always pick you."

Spike was somewhat relieved, she would stay with him if her friends objected but what if Angel came back? "And the poofter? What if he came back?"

"I would try and explain to him." She said "But I would probably just end up punching him and sending him back to LA."

Spike was amazed, Angel had always gotten everything Spike wanted. Especially the women. Drusilla had ran back to her 'Daddy' as soon as the soul had gone and Buffy herself had taken Angel's side before. But know he got the girl...and Angel's girl at that! Now Spike stood outside the Magic Box. This meeting could go three ways. All the scoobies could accept him, none of the scoobies could accept him or he could spilt the usually close group apart. He took an unneeded breath, he was still slightly afraid of being abandoned...again.

"Well." he mumbled "It's now or never." Stuffing his hands into his duster he stomped through the door and immediately had to dodge a Xander thrown stake.

"I take it you've already told em then."

"Sorry it kinda slipped."

Spike looked at the group, not really surprised. Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Tara were on one side, Giles and Xander on the other. Anya, who obviously didn't care was sitting on the counter counting her money.

"Alexander Harris you do now attemp to stake ny boyfriend!" Buffy scolded, turning back to the two men.

"But Buffy you can't love him, He obviously has you under some sorta thrall!" Xander whined, looking to Giles for back up.

"Buffy, had he bitten you at all? Spike could have you under his control."

"No he had not bitten me and I am not under any sort of thrall!...Does Spike even have a thrall?"

"No I bloody well do not! I was the only member of the scourge who didn't and I would never do that to Buffy anyway."

"How do we know you're not lying?" Xander spat

"Because if I did I'd got rid of you along time ago!"

That was the truth. Xander had crossed the line a few to many times with Spike and they all knew it. To all their surprise it was Giles that defended Spike. "Xander, I am afraid Spike is telling the truth he does not have the thrall." The watcher sighed "And as much as I disapprove...if Buffy wants to be with him we really have no say in the matter."

Buffy smiled and hugged her watched, mumbling a quiet thanks before glaring at Xander and pulling Spike closer. "Xander, you're my friend but you can't tell me who to fall in love with anymore than I can you."

"But he's evil and..and...soulless!

"I don't want to here it Xander, if you can date a ex vengeance demon then why can't I date a reformed vampire?" When he didn't answer Buffy smirked. " Now are there anymore complaints?" the shop stayed quiet, no one wanting to upset the slayer anymore. "Good, now I will be patrolling with Spike." grabbing his hand and pulling him through the door and toward the nearest cemetery.

"You know, that little display really turned me on."

"Everything turns you on Spike."

"True...but do we have to patrol?" Spike asked suggestivly.

"I don't know." She thought playfully "It is my sacred duty." Buffy said, running her hands up and down his chest. Spike growled as she suddenly turned and ran, laughing. "Are you coming or should I just patrol instead?"

"You little...I gonna get you for that!"

Her laughing floated back on the breeze as he took off after her


End file.
